What is in my Flask

New Orleans always has held a special place in my heart. Some have asked me what I do in the city when I visit. So I made this list. From the get-go, NOLA pushes against the idea of order, so no numbered lists—just a collection of places that are special to me. Maybe they will become special to you as well. I did give in a little and put them into general categories of food, fun, booze, sleep and next (stuff I’m gonna do next).

FOOD* **

*a note about food in NOLA. I have a close friend, Angie Doss, who introduced me to this concept of packaging your leftovers and asking for some “to-go” plastic wear and giving them to someone you see on the street. I think this is an amazing concept and I encourage you to do it. I have never had anyone refuse, and more often that not, I have had people smile in a way that made their day. This doesn’t fix the problem of homelessness, but it helps. Honestly, the only challenge I think is trying to sort our the difference between the homeless and the hipster. Make it a fun game.

** I’d say the first 10 below are the ones I try to go to each trip.

El Gato Negro Oh man, this place. I know you don’t think of Mexican food when you come to the city. Listen, I get it. I also know California and Texas have this kind of locked down. But, listen. I travel a lot. This is the best Mexican food I have ever had. Hands down. Their queso is like exactly as it should be, just a nice kick and super cheesy. Honestly, I’ve been there twice, and I’ve ordered the exact same thing. Queso and one ground chuck beef taco with sautéed mushrooms. The queso comes with flour tortillas. It’s enough to make three tacos. Like it wasn’t enough, they have pineapple, cilantro margarita that is the best I have ever had. Don’t miss the place on the end of Decatur. It’s also right near the French market and the Frenchman, so plan to wander around there.

Who Dat Café.  A little bit of a hike in the Faubourg Marigny, but well worth the walk to Burgundy street. There are two things you don’t want to miss here. They do the perfect bloody Mary. Just the right spice and kick and often at the $5 price. The other is the corn cakes. They are kind of like pancakes but fried in butter and made of corn. Not that you can see them beneath the cheese, bacon and chives. Each forkful of this mammoth breakfast/brunch gauntlet is worth it. Don’t order anything else. Just this bliss. Great place to hang out and write as well.

EAT New Orleans. Located on the corner of Dumaine and Dauphine street, EAT is this hidden gem in the quarter. They do an amazing deviled eggs that are spicy and served with bacon or smoked salmon. They have the chicken pot pie skillet that was equally good along with a crab and shrimp seafood linguine. The menu changes frequently and they have a really nice BYOB policy without a corking fee (this means just bring your wine, beer and other booze to the table with you).  The window seats are great for people watching with a bottle of your favorite wine. One of those places you wander into at the end of Bourbon.

Coops Place A bit of a dive and a hole in the wall, but well known by locals and tourists in the know. Some of the best fried chicken in town. Have it along with some rabbit jambalaya or some fried seafood. Must be over 21. FYI, no babies in the bar. Erica introduced me to this place and it has become a quick favorite. There is a really funny NOLA bit about parades and Coops by Hannibal. Check it out here.

Red Fish Another great restaurant at the top of Bourbon street in the middle of everything. They do like 10 different kinds of fish with varied sauces (my favorite is tuna with lemon butter). Ask for the mint julip in a classic julip cup. The friend Oysters with blue cheese and crystals hot sauce is one of the best bites in the city. Dessert is also not always easy to come by in the city–which is surprising. But they do this here. Its called the double chocolate bread pudding. It involves chocolate being poured. Like your own fountain.

Muriel’s Classic NOLA cuisine set right next to the hotel Place de Arms and the cathedral. The goat cheese crepes are the go-to dish to try here. The blackened fish and the pork chop are other favorites. Cool courtyard bar (indoors) and another place where you can escape the heat of the day for some classic white table cloth dining. Great lunch menu.

Stanley’s  Right next to St. Louis Cathedral. They have a great omelet sandwich. I had this like for a week straight. Solid bloody mary. If they ask you to get a double, the answer is always yes. They do a really nice brandy milk punch as well as a nice dark roux gumbo. Second best gumbo for me—my first is at K-Pauls.

Acme Oysters  Some see these as a tourist place and will fight you if you argue differently. My thought is that leaves more for us and they can go somewhere else. Great po-boys and they do an oyster grilled with butter, garlic and cheese that is one of the best bites in the city. Try to go on off times (between lunch and dinner) and consider sitting at the bar. No outside drinks strictly enforced and they won’t seat you until everyone is there.

Lucky Dog carts Hot dog carts throughout the city at night. Definitely a tasty dog. Onions, mustard and ketchup please. For the Confederacy of Dunces fan, this is a must. They taste better after 10pm and in the terminal at the MSY airport. People may initially say, “Do I want a hotdog from a street vendor?” I’d say they are surprisingly good and the vendors all do a nice job with sanitizing.

Clover Grille At the end of Bourbon street. The dive of dive diners. But, amazing hamburgers make by taking a hubcap over the top of the burger on the grille. Also, second best tater-tots in the city. Not a fancy place. Also, the rules on the menu make the place worth it for a trip. Just keep your hands above the table at all times. Don’t talk to yourself. They make a super good grilled cheese and a surprisingly epic turkey club sandwich. Also, they are open 24/hrs.

Sylvain  Fun, small intimate place for drinks and meals. They do a great brunch with this amazing shot called an orange Lazarus. Don’t miss this. A quick turn by Jackson square over to the Chartres. Can get busy, so reservations can help—particularly for brunch.

Arnaud’s Located on Bourbon and Bienville, Arnauds is another one of those suprises. A fixture of NOLA, it specialized in French cuisine and fine dining. They have two dining rooms, one for reservations and the other for walk-ins. I’d say go for the one in the back. The do a veal Whol dish that gives you a taste of the best they have: Veal Chantal, Arnaud’s Crab Cake and Crawfish O’Connor. Need a fix of escargot or frog’s legs? This is your place. One of the most extensive offerings for oysters in the city. Really romantic spot for a nice dinner.

Bourbon House On the corner of Bourbon (ha!) and Iberville, this place has an extensive collection of bourbon’s that speak to this Kentucky boy. They have raw bar that serves a “Fruits de Mar” platter in various sizes that is really good. Really strong horseradish, which is a must. And they do a raw oyster set topped with caviar which is a favorite for me. A little more a place for a quicker meal in the heart of the quarter.

Commander’s Palace One of the older restaurants in the city, Commanders Palace is located in the Garden district. They have amazing turtle soup and do delicious things with the crab, local fish and pasta. Requires some slightly fancier dress and can be a bit more expensive. They often two exclusive experiences, a chef’s table for four people and a wine cellar table for 8-10. These are epic dining experiences with great wine pairings from their wine cellar with 33,000 bottles. Call early for these.

Cafe Amelie A cute hidden place on the edge of the quarter. Romantic dinners in their courtyard with amazing cocktails. Its super close to my favorite hotel, the Place de Arms. Can get busy around 7pm for reservations. Kind of the perfect New Orleans place to eat. Best enjoyed on a dark fall night. They have some amazing bread pudding creations with candy bars and other creative options.

NOLA A fun restaurant on St. Phillips. It used to be more upscale and fancy, but recently they have moved more to small plates. The BBQ shrimp are really good as well as the pork chop and friend chicken with sweet potatoes. The shrimp are served in a dark sauce, not a traditional BBQ, but its equally delicious. They also do a house pineapple infused vodka that they can do with soda water or in their Cosmo. Don’t miss. They recently re-did the entire interior, so it’s a little bit of an adjustment from what it was before. Much more casual. They make this amazing pineapple infused Vodka that my friend Poppy likes from California. She isn’t wrong.

KPaul’s This classic New Orleans place is tasty and provides a heartier fair. While all the meals are filling and delicious, my favorite is their gumbo. They use an extremely dark roux and it is just the best flavor. They also have a delicious sweet potato pecan pie. One of my favorite tricks is to wait until about 9 on most nights and just sit at the bar and order these two things. Located just a bit from the St. Louis Cathedral on Charters.

Mr. B’s Bistro Another classic in the city. Right in the heart of the quarter on the 200 block of Royal. Steak, BBQ oysters, great cocktails, it’s a mix of upscale and casual. No t-shirts or sandals, though. Gotta wear pants. Good place to try, not the top of my list. Don’t judge, but I got a really good hamburger here for dinner. They also make a solid garlic chicken.

Antoine’s One of the oldest restaurants in the city, Antoine’s is great for lunch or dinner. They offer a weekday lunch special three course menu for $21 along with .25 martinis of the day. Ask to sit in the back of the restaurant at lunch time, they often try to fill up the front first. They are known for some amazing oyster dishes, a baked Alaska and a diablo coffee they set on fire.

Camila Grille  There are two of these, one S Carrollton and then this one in the quarter. Great for a greasy spoon breakfast. This one is technically called the Grille, but that was a new name like two years ago. I imagine there was some kind of lawsuit that downgraded it to the Grille. Not a fancy place and don’t get too complicated in your orders. I’ve watched people trying to order an earl grey tea with honey and lemon be kicked out of the place. Bacon, eggs, Reuben, or get some grits. Fun to watch the waiters interact with the crowd and chefs. The original in Carrollton section of the city. I haven’t found it yet.

Boo! The one in the quarter is closed now. I swear to the sweet baby Jesus they better not put a soap shop in here.

Dat Dog Ok, back to hot dogs. Here is another place to check out. They have like 10 different kinds of hotdogs and sausage. Worth the trip over. There is one on Frenchman and one over on Magazine.

Felix  Right across the street from Acme. You might be tempted to say “hey, maybe I’ll go here instead.” You should do that. That way there is more seating at acme for me.

Cade De Monde   A required tourist stop. Beignets are like French donuts. They can be a little heavy, so getting a coffee is a must. There café au lait comes with a chicory coffee, that can be an acquired taste. They are open 24/7 which is a bonus for those late-night hankerings.

Café Beignet  For better beignets, I like Café Beignet on the 300 block of Royal street. Check it out. Its getting popular, though—so there might be some lines.

Elizabeth’s Restaurant  Great breakfast place outside of the quarter down in the Marigny. They make this amazing praline bacon. Worth an uber if you aren’t feeling the Grille or Stanley’s. It’s also pretty close to Dr. Bob’s folk art. I keep wanting to be into this place, but the art just isn’t my style. Check it out if you like here.

Court of Two Sisters Court Tavern on Bourbon  The court of two sisters is a really nice brunch place, but also a cool gumbo shop on bourbon. It’s an easy in and out place with some quality gumbo and a really nice roast beef po-boy. Ask for it dressed to get mayo, tomato, pickles and cheese on it.

Mother’s Restaurant  A true gem in the city. Casual atmosphere and amazing ham and turkey and sausage. My favorite is a debris sandwich (the drippings and meat from a roast beef) and a simple biscuit with ham. There are always lines here, so plan ahead during the busy seasons.

Green Goddess  A cool little outdoor place with great vegetarian food (and other). On a little cross street called Exchange Place, definitely a great little place to stop for a snack. Cool beers and great vibe. A little hot in the summer to eat outside, but a great place to grab some food hang out. They have this amazing meatloaf po-boy that is something you don’t want to miss.

TuJaques This place has been around before New Orleans was New Orleans as a Spanish armory. It serves great traditional New Orleans fair, my favorites being the crab au gratin, brisket, and the gnocchi. They also have a great off menu item which is a garlic chicken with homemade fries. So much garlic. Be prepared. They also make this fun and silly grasshopper drink that is good if you are in the need for some sweets. Located on Decatur, it’s a little restaurant and pretty easy to score reservations. A good place if you want a white table cloth experience but forgot to make reservations.

Reds Chinese This one is fun. Overheard walking on Bourbon, apparently its a mix of creole Thai food. Which sounds fascinating, so we asked them about it. Overheard restaurant finds is like drinking stolen beer. It always tastes better. Outside, a single red square stands bacon against the night. It says, “Here lies some epic cajun infused Chinese food.” Well, not really, its just a big red square. For me, the craw rangoon, pork belly buns and the generals chicken made the track worth it. Top notch find, random drunk Bourbon people.

Willie Mae’s Scotch house I gotta say, this has been on my list forever. It’s also a bit off the beaten path to get to on the far end of St. Ann, but there have been epic stories told of the chicken in this kind of Viking/Norse song tradition. Go forth, young man. Find the best chicken you can. Take and eat and conquer. Or something like this. In the end, I found it good. It was good fried chicken. By the sheer length of the line outside and the number of people wheeling luggage, apparently heading to the airport right after eating (or perhaps this was their first stop), this place is loved. The sides are delicious and remind me of a home cooked meal. Mashed potatoes and peas, cornbread, red beans and rice. It was really good. That being said, I still give Coops place my friend chicken award, but I would go back and try it with Dave since he had to skip fried chicken and have hummus instead.

Doris Metropolitan I gotta say, I’ve walked past this place on Charters street several dozen times. Its most notable for the full window into the refrigerator holding aged steaks. Like places like Arnaud’s and Red Fish, they have quality bar seating that rivals the actual restaurant. First off, my best advice to you if they ask if you want bread is to say Yes. They have an amazing bread section that comes out with red vine salt, a trio of flavored butters….just was really good. I had the Tuna Tartare for an appetizer and it was really good. I went steak. Bone-in Rib Eye, Cap Off, medium rare. It was a great steak. Overall, the place felt classy, but the bar stepped it down some. To me, it was almost like stepping out of NOLA for a bit, away from Cajun everything and back to a high-end steak house with great options for people who may not want steak. They had surprise flight of amaro liquors, these bitter digestives that I don’t think I really knew much about. Think something like Aperol or Campari. Didn’t realize this was a thing. Really good!

Hard Rock Café Don’t go here. They closed the best dual piano bar on bourbon to replace it with this dumb place. I veto it.

Briquette We went around Mardi Gras, so probably have to go back to get a full feel. It was pretty empty, and I had a bad run in with the waiter. He was kind of pushy, didn’t take drink orders, skipped the ladies and went to the men to order—turns out he was new. Also, there website is weird. Like nothing on it but a briquette. Which is a cool graphic, but maybe menu? I’m not gonna eat your briquette, dude. Anyway, they switched out the server and we had a good meal. They did muscles and truffle fries that were an amazing appetizer. I had a chicken dish that was really good and the tuna. I’d tell you what the dishes were, but I can’t find the menu. Really cool warehouse kind of atmosphere. I would go here again, but it wouldn’t be my idea or suggestion.

Louisiana Pizza Kitchen I know, I know. Pizza in NOLA. But sometimes you have a hankering. This place does oven baked thin crust. Great sauce and meat. They do a really good Caesar salad and nice gumbo as well. Its over by the French market and on the way to Frenchman street. So kind of a fun place if you are on the way somewhere. I know. But try it. Also, pitchers of beer.

Port of Call  It’s been a bit of my white whale, trying to get to this place. But I finally made it. The bar is dark and has lots of seating. The two times I’ve gone, it’s been a little more on the quiet side, but I hear that the place can fill up quickly. They do a simple burger—with or without cheese or mushrooms and instead of fries, they do a baked potato. Apparently, they don’t have a fryer, but have two ovens. Thus, tasty potatoes. Its good solid food and the they have a pretty intense collection rum-based drinks that will kick your ass. The Monsoon is a popular one and super strong. The red turtle is a little sweeter. The goombay punch has a coconut vibe and the Huma huma has a nice melon flavor. Also, coldest beer in town. They say they have the best burger in NOLA, and I usually don’t get into “best of” kind of debates. It’s a solid good burger and I def like the idea that they can do it rare and it means rare. Definitely a good stop. Upon checking my notes, I found this little gem describing the monsoon agter having the red turtle, a beer and the goombay punch.  “Moo soon strong as fuck”

Belle’s Diner A 1950’s themed diner between Decatur and the French market. Traditional diner food and cool music. Fresh OJ machine, great bar options and how can you pass up a “boozy shake.” I had the Hell Belle omelet that had hot sausage, cheddar cheese, and roasted peppers. A good alternative to the Grille that shut down on Charters. Not a place I think I would seek out again, but not bad and a cool location if you are over here. It’s open most days 7am-7pm.

Snug Harbor Heralded as the alternative to Port of Call on Frenchman, that was pretty accurate. A bit more open and a little less cramped, they had a larger menu beyond hamburgers and baked potatoes, but really, that is the main draw of this place. Quality burger and great loaded baked potato. Perfect for sucking up all the alcohol consumed while listening to Jazz music on Frenchman. Apparently, they have jazz here as well, but weren’t playing while I was there.

Kingfish Another one of those little cool places right in the heart of the quarter. Located off Conti and Charters, the defining characteristic of the restaurant is a cool wrap-around bar that reaches into the dining room. Lots of good craft cocktails and solid gumbo and entrees. I had the boudin balls (little spicy pork balls) and the chicken andouille gumbo. Not overly busy, even on a Saturday for lunch/brunch. And with a big surprise coming out of left field, I’m gonna say this gumbo beats our K-Paul’s for me. Dark roux, great sausage and chicken flavor, perfect rice. They did it really well. That and a cool black and blue bread pudding (black berries and blue berries). Kind of a cool idea.

Nola Po Boys Located over near the 900 block of Bourbon, it’s a little po-boy shop. I’m pretty sure it is also related to many of the street bike taxis—there seem to be a lot of them there. The shrimp po-boy was on the spicy side, which I liked. Small place and good food. Another place that I think is more about location and where you happen to be.

Horns Surrounded by a trellises and plants with lots of outdoor seating, this cute little place is nestled up outside of Frenchman on Dauphine. It had some great music going and the indoor setting was all well-worn wood and had the feel of a reclaimed barn with dark maroon vinyl benches and feeling of place and history. I had a savory bread pudding made with spinach and mushroom with over-easy eggs. Strong coffee and some fun fancy drinks like the Velvet Elvis (tequila, lavender syrup, grapefruit and lime). I came early in the morning and it was pretty slow, but the place had “gonna be busy” vibe as the day worked its way to evening.

The Orange Couch Not too far away from Frenchman, the Who Dat Café and Horns lives this little bakery and coffee house. Its bright, airy and entirely populated with writers and students working on stuff. Great power outlets, good wi-fi, comfortable indoor and outdoor seating, strong coffee and, you know—an orange couch.

 

Tableau A little Brennan’s restaurant on the corner of Charters an St. Peter by Jackson square. Its right in the middle of everything and originally, I worried the food would suffer due to the touristy location. I was wrong. The food was amazing. BBQ shrimp with an amazing hot sauce, quality hamburger and a really nice red fish. Oh, and the Gnocchi appetizer. The best I have ever had. The day I was here, it rained in this epic way outside by the square and you could just sit there and watch the rain come down.

Broussards I’ve been to this place twice. Kind of a fun, hidden gem in the quarter off Conti and Bourbon. They do great brunches (everyday over the summer). Endless mimosas and rosé wine. They do a great crystals, honey, cream sauce with the BBQ shrimp. So good. I’ve had the happy our Hors d’oeuvre and cocktails. They make a mean corpse reviver #2 and croque monsieur. A little fancier for dinner—but casual for brunch. Outdoor courtyard and elegant dining room. Oh, and try a grasshopper. Like a girl scout cookie in a glass.

FUN

Touchdown Jesus The Jesus statue on the back side of the St. Louis cathedral casts a sweet shadow up a night. It’s a classic picture from the city. He has been affectionately named “touchdown Jesus” and is fond of pineapples.

Ritz Spa An indulgence, for sure. They have amazing massages and a cool locker room with steam and showers with wall jets. They have a neat voodoo massage option with cool music and a spiced bag of herbs that are used in the process. Come early and leave late to enjoy the wave pool and hot tub. Great mani-pedi services. They also have a really nice bar at the hotel set in a square courtyard on the second floor.

New Orleans School of Cooking This cooking school offers a 2-3 hours class where you don’t really cook, but rather watch one of the chef’s cook. They tell you stories about the city, make gumbo, pralines, etouffee and red beans and rice. They start with biscuits with Steen’s cane sugar and move through two more courses depending on the menu of the day and often end with pralines and pecan pie. I’ve been about 11 times, and find it a great way to learn about the city, have a meal and spend some time with friends. It’s about $30 for the experience. Also, free beer.  Its right next to Emril’s NOLA restaurant on St. Louis street between Chartres and Decatur.

Sucré Macaroons. So many macaroons. For your face. To Eat. If, you know, you are into that kind of thing. Banana Fosters is a favorite. Apparently, they also have “big awesome cookies.” I’m not sure about that.

Papier and Plume This little shop on Royal has great selections of paper and pens. Cool messenger bags, cases, old school ink stamps and calligraphy supplies. Definitely worth a stop by.

Harrah’s New Orleans Cool casino themed after the city. Nice mix of slots and table games. Really happening poker room. I played once at a two-four limit table with Ray Liotta. He scared the shit out of me. It was a low limit table, 2-4 hold em. And the whole time, we all felt like we knew he was somebody. He wore this stupid baseball cap and kept talking about American Idol, like normal American’s do. But we weren’t sure who he was. So, when he went to the bathroom, we all talked and figured out it was Ray Liotta. When he got back he admitted it and we played some more. I asked him for an autograph and he said he would sign one a little later. I even won a hand bluffing against him. Which was also scary. When he got up to go to the bathroom, I saw my chance and went over to him on the way back. I said, “I’m just such fan. Casino, Silence of the lambs. I don’t want to be a bother..” and I held out the paper and a pen. He looked at me with intense eyes and said, “WELL, YOU FUCKING ARE!” In my head, I was like “holy shit, he is going to kill me for asking for an autograph.” I stammered, “I’m sorry…I didn’t…” Then he took the paper and said, “Nah, I’m just kidding…” in this calm and happy voice. Dude. That guy got me.

Ignatius J. Reilly statue  Speaking of which, check out this statue dedicated to our favorite French quarter character. Set out from of where the old D.H. Holmes Department Store was. Hang some beads on him for some good vibes.

Faulkner House Books  Next to the pirate bar, take a break and see where Faulkner wrote and lived. Some great old books here. Worth a stop. You can be all classy and well-read and such.

Wellington & Co. Speaking of silver and jewelry, this is a great place to get some fine jewelry. Ask for Ryan, he will steer you right. Located on Royal..a great street to check out some antiques.

Ghost Adventure Tours  A guided tour through the city. I like the Voodoo and Cemetery Tour #1. Worth the cost to see the cemetery and hear some of the stories. It takes about 2-3 hours, and isn’t too strenuous. You may want to not pick 11am in July, though. Super hot in the cemetery. They do discounts for pre-pay and groups. So worth asking. usually about $20-$30 a person.

St. Louis Cathedral  Worth a stop to come in from the heat and see one of the most beautiful churches in the country. Several of my friends from NJ hang out here.

New Orleans Silver smith Great little silver shop. Lots of estate jewelry and some new (located on Chartres in the quarter). I may have started my flask collection here. This collection may be at 8 flasks. If you stop by, see what they are holding for Brian. Send me a picture.

Lady of Guadeloupe  Cool church right outside the quarter. Has a really neat grotto with candles and cool worship space to reflect. There is a long history to the church being a place where many bodies were kept during the yellow fever outbreak. Oldest church in the city and home of the St. Jude shrine.

Marie Laveau tomb in cemetery #1 A required stop to pay homage to the great voodoo queen Marie Laveau. People leave offerings and some have written on the tomb, but this is frowned on. Best to see this on a tour, as the cemetery is often locked at night and during the day.

Palace Market A cute artists market in the heart of Frenchman street. About 30 booths with jewelry, art and cool creative things to purchase. They are open most nights from 9-1—but look for the Friday and Saturday nights to see the most artists booths.

Police horses  The police on bourbon have horses. It may come into your mind to say something like “OMG, I have a horse and I ride horses and I know all about horses and can I touch your horse and maybe get a selfie with you and the horse.” Just leave them alone. They are here to trample you if the crowd gets out of control and push you onto the ground. BBTTH

Cajun Pride Swamp and Plantation Tours I rarely get pulled out the city, but this one time I was talked into a swamp boat tour. I was with two of my friends, who happened to be black. When they asked if we also wanted to do the plantation tour, one looked at me and said, “Too soon, man.” Agreed. I learned that alligators like marshmallows. And that there are lots of bugs in New Orleans swamps. It was a fun thing to try for a long afternoon, but probably not a repeat for me.

Thoth Float I ride with Thoth for Mardi Gras. I’m pretty sure we are worshiping an
ancient bird. The parade route is here in case you want to try to catch some beads or a doubloon from me. Also, FYI, if you are on a Mardi Gras float, choosing absinthe and ice as your float drink is ill-advised.

O’Neil Gallery This is one of my favorite places for art in the city. Peter lives and Florida and does some amazing work. I have two of his pictures in our bedroom in New Hampshire and some plans to pick up some more.

French Quarter Mule Rides Across from Café Du Monde and next to the St. Louis Cathedral, there is a line of mules that can take you on a cool tour. Many have mixed feelings about the animals being worked this hard in the heat. Often tours that cut through Frenchman can bring jeers and protests from locals. The drivers assure people that the mules are kept well and have a good life. Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about them. They are best at night and cost about $30 a person.

Queork Seriously, I hate this place. Queork should be for cork boards and maybe the bottom of your shoes. Perhaps bobbers. Maybe wine corks. If you are with me when we walk by, I will grumble. Slightly less now that Stephanie from Pere Antoine bought a cork phone case. Grrr.

Champions Square Located outside the Mercedes-Benz Superdome, it’s the place to get your Who-Dat on. I’ve been to exactly two football games in my life, one of them here and one of them at Giants Stadium. The vibe in the stadium is really cool. Chanting and goodness. Definitely worth a swing by during a game.

French Market This place is over by Decatur. There are food shops and some upscale shops as well. They have Sno-Ball (like the flavor ice of NOLA), alligator sausage, gumbo and oysters. The lower part of the market has tables like a flea market for great cheap little things for souvenirs. Worth a walk through, I think. Also near cool shops on Decatuer and El Gato Negro, you know, if you need some queso.

Trashy Diva Clothing / Trashy Diva Lingerie Boutique This is my wife’s favorite story in the city. They have two stores on Royal street. One has some cool retro 40’s and 50’s dresses, which aren’t cheap, but are really pretty. The other is Trashy Diva intimates and a collection of incredible lingerie and bras. Both stores have a very nice bench that men can sit on and wait.

NRSH (Soap) I have no idea what is going on. But there are like three soap shops all next to each other. I’ve hear the guy who bought the Grille building on Charters also owns these soap shops. The soap is nice, but I don’t get it. There should not be this much need for soap. They were all on Charters. I’m investigating. I have three theories: 1) I need to get into the soap business cause the mark up must be amazing, 2) there is a Fight Club Project Mayhem thing going on here, 3) the guy who bought the building is also buying soap shops for his kids. Updates to come. I did take a sample of the lemon soap and it was very nice. I just don’t understand.

Rouses Market Fresh fruit, cheap booze and all the things you need when you are away from home. The narrowest isle ever and simple going into this place is like a rite of passage in the quarter. Right in the middle of everything on Royal street.

Bargain Center This is over in the Bywater. It’s a cool mix of indoor flea market meets like a antique shop. Lots of random furniture, pictures, glassware…kind of like a grandmother’s attic kind of place. I bought a cool table here. Ubered that 1840’s bastard back over to the apartment.

Collectible antiques This is a little antique shop on the 1200 block of Decanter. They have a lot of nice things that aren’t over the top, Royal street prices. It’s an older store just made for wandering through and exploring. Clearly when I moved to NOLA, I needed to invest in a decanter and some candelabras. I found some nice deals here. Remember to haggle. I found they would come down 10-20% on the prices posted.

Second Line Arts and Antiques. This one is across from Collectibles. While they have some antiques, its way more about local artists and created items. They have an outdoor market and about 30 indoor booths that have local artists works. Lights worked into saxophones, old bottles, ironworks and collectables. It’s a fun and eclectic way to spend an hour. Also, if your friends are scared of bugs—this is the stop for them. Cause for some odd reason, they have like 200 glass boxed butterfly’s and bugs for sale as well. I don’t know why. I suspect it is related to the soap conspiracy.

St. Charles Streetcar After a long debate about streetcars versus trolley’s, we climbed aboard and tried this out. If you are so inclined, they are mostly the same, though a streetcar is used for more shorter, more local trips. It’s cheap at $1.25 a person. They have day passes as well. The streetcar takes you across to the garden district, Tulane and Loyola. Its a great way to see the houses, get over to Magazine street places to eat and shop and generally get a feel for the culture of the town. The cars can get quite packed, so its not the most comfortable mode of travel, but its a quick and cheap way to get over to Commanders and the St. Louis Cemetery #1 (which is currently open 7-3pm—just as a heads up).

Saenger Theatre Sadly, I have yet to go here for a play or theatre, but I was surprised to learn of this hidden gem in the city. My friends David, Chris, Vanessa and Ro rented a condo up on canal by this place and I started watching some of the shows that were coming doing. They draw some top-name folks…Hamilton, Tony Bennet, NIN, Les Misérables, and Book of Mormon. Kind of good place to know.

House of Blues Oh man, what a story. So, to begin with, I’m not a big concert goer. I grew up pretty conservative Christian and the best concerts I was allowed to go to were Stripper and Carmen (pray for me). So, when I wandered past Willie Nelson’s tour bus…I was like, huh. I think I can make this happen. The venue was super cool, small and intimate and had standing room for a couple hundred and then banisters around the main floor and second floor. Willie was nothing short of amazing and besides getting a contact high from the smoke in the crowd, Willie was throwing bandanas left and right. I’m not quite sure how, but I ended up with some woman on my shoulders as she thought this would be a good way to catch a bandanna. Sadly, there was no bandana that was thrown our way. There may have been a point where she tucked a lit joint into her bra before climbing up. Honestly, the night was a little hazy. Anyhoo, concerts! They have concerts here.

One Eyed Jacks This has been another one of those bucket list situations for me. My first concert in New Orleans was a random lucky connection to the House of Blues to see Willie Nelson. There was a variety show there tonight called Blunderland and it was amazing. The venue is this cool little place with a bar in the middle and this raised felt red wallpaper that just adds to the overall vibe of the place. Def worth checking out if you find a band you like or a show.

BOOZE

Three Silly Drinks: If you do find yourself on Bourbon, make sure you have a drink in hand. You can carry drinks out of restaurants and bars in to-go cups. This has resulted in the creation of some epic to-go cup options.

The hand-grenade, Hory Gator and the Shark Attack:  Tropical Isle has a series of bars on bourbon. The hand grenade is served in a long green tube with a little shooter of rum in a hand grenade. My personal favorite from there is the shark attack. I won’t spoil it for you, but order a shark attack and see what happens. Hint: is awesome, film it.

The Resurrection: Stop by Spirits on Bourbon to find that glowing skull drink. It’s here. Called the resurrection. It tastes blah. But glowing skull.

Is that a Real Pineapple? Stop by Cane and Table They have a drink here that is like $30 for two people served in a fresh pineapple. Buy this drink, skip dinner there and wander throughout the day refilling it. I’ve never had so many people curious about where I got a drink before in my life. In the end, I left it at the feet of touchdown Jesus on the back side of the St. Louis Cathedral. I hope I started a trend. You can also order different things in here, I had a double greyhound worked in. They have good ice. That sonic-like stuff. Another alternative is to stop buy Rouses market on Royal

13 Monaghan Small bar on Frenchman. They have the best cheese tots and are open late. Great location to grab a PBR or similar drink. They also were very willing to make up a drink to put into the giant pineapple I often carry around the city. Very accommodating people.

Tolteca Tiki Bar  A hidden place above Felipe’s Mexican restaurant. When you go up to the second floor, be ready to see a whole new place. It’s a dark bar with authentic tiki drinks, gummy shots and some of the coolest bitter drinks I’ve ever had. A great place to escape the city if things are too loud or bright or intense for a few hours. Try the two-ton swizzle. And see if you can find the table where I left a little piece of my heart that one time.

Carousel Bar at the Monteleone This place was cool. They are known for their Vieux Carré, a mix of whiskey, cognac, bénédictine and bitters. Its sweet and strong. The bar slowly rotates in a fun, but not make you sick kind of way. I’d say it makes a rotation about once every hour. It usually pretty busy in there, so timing is key.

Pirate bar Cute little bar next to Jackson square. Famous for absinthe, but they don’t do the full fire preparations. Try a toxic Jesus shot and walk away with a little baby Jesus. They also make a decent margarita if you aren’t feeling the absinthe.

Old Absinth House This is the place to get some stuff set on fire. Fair warning though, before trying absinthe as the person if they like black licorice. Any answer besides “yes, I do” means they will not like absinthe. Ever. At all.  Anyway, pick an absinthe and get an Abita amber chaser and watch the fire. Also, don’t play Don’t Stop Believing on their juke box. They will kill you.

Fritzel’s European Jazz club  A cool little live music venue on Bourbon Street. Not the best music you will hear in the quarter, but always a solid band, good drinks and easy location to drift in and out of during a busy trip. UPDATE: So, just for fun. Tell the bouncer at the door “The Vampires sent me” and have a $10 cover charge. There is something special hidden away in Fritzel’s that will make your trip. (Also, I promise it isn’t a guy who punches you and takes your money).

Chart Room Small local bar in the heart of the quarter. Great place to chill and learn a bit about the culture of the city. Fun to see the limited juke box and I feel like the stories here get more interesting as the night draws on. Once, there was this one armed lady in a red dress….

Pat O’Briens It’s hard to visit the resent city and not have one of these crazy sweet, high alcohol content Hurricanes from Pats. They have a neat dueling piano bar (take a moment of silence for Howl at the Moon) and a fun courtyard with fire and water features. Don’t worry about stealing the glass, its already yours (they are smart)—if you don’t want to glass, you have to return it to the bar for $3 back. Also, if you want to take it with you, tell them and they will give you a nice box. No exposed glass on bourbon street. Everything else, just no exposed glass. As a helpful FYI, there are two entrances here at Pat’s. One on bourbon and the other on St Peter. They also rent out a cool room upstairs for parties of 25 or more. Truly a once in a lifetime experience if you have the ability to do it.

Sac au Lait A cool farm-to-table restaurant in the warehouse district. They serve boars heart. And things in glass with smoke. A fun and cool place to try. Really cool cocktails. And a bartender her found my flask and didn’t steal it (it was a really nice flask) and instead saved it for me until the next day. So, go there, and tip the bartender well.

Lafitte’s Blacksmith shop Cozy little bar on the far end of bourbon street (I know, cozy and bourbon street don’t go together—but they also do). Good hurricanes and gin and tonics, quiet piano music out back, dark at night with only candlelight in the bar. Can get pretty busy during peak seasons.

Pere Antoine Named after the famed rector of St. Louis Cathedral, this place makes some great peach schnapps ice tea drinks. Super strong. Ok, there may be a theme developing in this blog about alcoholic drinks that be obtained close to Place de Arms. Stephanie bar tends there. Tell her I said high. Maybe leave her a rubber duck.

The Dungeon  Ok, so, well. Dive bar is accurate. Fireball and cherries is accurate. Gin and Tonics that glow in the dark cause of black lights and quinine in the tonic is accurate. This place is loud. Only opens after 11pm and the metal stools vibrate in fun ways to the bass cranking in the upstairs. Like a heavy metal version of the pirates of Caribbean ride, be ready for nooks and crannies, cave walls and hidey holes. Dead men tell no tales.

Maison One of my favorite places on Frenchman. Live music, amazing cocktails and cool bar snacks. They do this Bloody Mary that stands like 9 inches tall. My favorite cocktails are the confederate jasmine (ford’s gin, Campari, cointreau, and fresh lemon juice) and the walk the line (Nolet gin, Aperol and fillet blanc). Great cool place to spend a hot afternoon. Don’t forget to tip the band. Lots of seating and while it gets busy, it just never feels that way here compared to other places on Frenchman street.

Harry’s Corner Another great little hole in the wall. They only take cash and probably not the bar to order a complicated drink. They have these great windows you can sit by and watch some of the city pass by on a cool autumn day. They also do these simple red beans and rice, sometimes with cut up hotdogs in it on Mondays. Kind of simple and fun place. Makes me happy here.

The Abby The term “dive bar” can be used in lots of different ways. Here, it is used in the best possible sense. It has a neighborhood feel with lots of regulars and even more character. Curtis, the bartender, gave me a lesson about a longneck being a type of beer, not a brand. Things just went from there with him asking my wife and I to yell “Fuck you Bobby!” for no particularly reason to someone passing outside on the street. A larger question might be “Brian, why would you two yell that?” This can be answered by the $5 longneck and whiskey shot special that is always in effect and Bethany’s new found love of screwdrivers.  Of note, this is the bar where Angelia Jolie used to frequent before some knuckle-head mentioned she was there at an adjacent bar that resulting in lots of tourists harassing her and her leaving through a back door. Speaking of back doors, Curtis also informed me they have the best jukebox in town with a selection of customized mix CD’s with a song entitled “You will regret this” which has a William Shatner singing rocket-man 25-minute type spoken word weirdness that involves a lengthy description of one’s parents have anal sex. So there is that.

Oz As we are neighbors, it seemed only fitting that I try this place out. Bethany and I stopped by to refill my giant pineapple drink from (it was created two hours earlier at Cane and Table while waiting in line at Coops. Today it was a double greyhound and that cool pellet ice and a pink twisty straw. After being razed by Coops wait staff (rightfully so) as “the guy with the fancy pineapple” the drink evolved with a shot of blueberry vodka (and when I say shot, I mean three shots cause that’s how it was poured), two shots of citrus vodka and then the rest of Bethany’s third screwdriver). And, if I wasn’t clear earlier, social etiquette dictates that you add new drinks to the pineapple if you bring it into other bars. Don’t sit at a bar with a giant pineapple and not buy anything.  Ok, so—at OZ, the drink then had two more screwdrivers added to it and eventually ended up being spilled (a bit) on our balcony while throwing beads to a bachelorette party and a lady who recognized me from a threat assessment training in Austin (hi, Audrey!). Any-who, Oz had a cool concrete bar, comfortable seats and, according to Bethany, this amazing bubble sign in the middle of the bar with the world OZ in it that fascinated her more than the super-hot and buff male bartender. I pointed out that primarily all male bar would have comfortable seating and a sturdy, well-made bar with deep places for your knees; cause men get cool things while women have pockets that can’t hold their iPhone. In all fairness, t would be better to visit later that night when they were doing drag queen bingo, but we figured this was a good first time stop. For those who haven’t pieced this together, OZ it is one of several gay bars in this area of Bourbon. The bartender shared he he had another straight friend visit who was concerned about being in a gay bar he told him, “Listen, the worst thing that is going to happen to you is people will be more polite than usual, better dressed and—totally worst-case scenario, someone may offer to give you a blow job. So really, stop worrying.” Bethany raised interesting points about gentrification (is that used right here?) of the bar with straight couples and bachelorette parties frequenting it more, but this still remains an area of debate in our household.

Café Lafitte in Exile Another one of those amazing bars in the city. Part dive bar, part gay bar it is dark and inviting. Cool fire feature at night in the lounge. Of note, we met a guy named John Vincent who was a base jumper who launched himself off of the world trade center in 1991. Clip here. I’m pretty sure he is living his best life ever cause he was wearing this awesome custom zipper boots, and called Bethany  “cherry pie” cause she was looking amazing in her cherry dress and purple hair. Located a block from Lafitte’s blacksmith shop, great bar hopping opportunity.

21 Amendment I think I missed this one so often cause I’m also coming out of Acme after a pitcher of beer and a dozen char oysters and having a quiet drink isn’t the first thing on my mind. I was wrong. The day I wandered in they had nice live music. Great craft cocktails. I had the Uno Mas—and then I had one more (see what I did there?). margarita with Mezcal, ancho reyes verde, lime, sugar, cucumbers and bitters. Also, more about ancho reyes verde here—but a green chili liquor. Dark and cold bar to hang out in during the summer. I heard it gets really busy at times—so just be aware. It’s close to everything, so easy to jump in and out, I’d guess. Cool couches and lounges in the back.

Black Penny  Little bar on Rampart with an amazing craft beer selection. Lots of sours and cool exposed ceilings and fun music playlist by the bartenders. I wandered in trying to make it to ACE hardware this summer to buy some chains for hanging plants. It was hot, y’all. Like Africa hot. I had a watermelon sour and like three glasses of water. Fun, cool place.

Apple Barrel Cute little bar on frenchman with live jazz. Cozy set up (read small), so timing seems pretty important in terms of when you settle out this way. Wandered in for a beer and a set or two. Good place to chill on frenchman.

SLEEP

Place de Arms My favorite place in the city to stay, hands down. Simultaneously in the middle of everything and set away, the hotel holds this great little courtyard and cool pool area. Not overly expensive, and a block to the café de monde, two blocks to bourbon and right next to the St. Louis Cathedral.

NEXT

Snake and Jakes (fun dive bar with Christmas lights)

Little Dizzy Recommended by Gumbo Marie at the school of cooking.

St. Roch Market I keep hearing about this place, lots of cool restaurants and this hidden little gem. Next trip!

Shaya Some very close friends swear by the hummus here and it has been voted best new place in the US—so who is to disagree with that.

Le Petite Grocery this cute little place keeps getting mentioned to me—its a must try.

Latitude 29 Another Tiki bar? Ok!

Atchafalaya Hard to say, but is supposed to be good. Restaurant We’ll see.

Rawhide 2010 S&M bar with bloody Mary’s? And the slogan, “Everyone ends up here sooner or later” And done.

Nola Cakes. My friend Kaydee recommends this place strongly—apparently over by who dat café. It’s on my list

Cafe Degas.  Cute little French place I need to try. Another Kaydee suggestion

Juan’s Flying Burrito This one gets solid mention around town. Apparently, they do an epic non-traditional taco Tuesday.

La Crepe Nanou A recommendation from a shop keeper on frenchman. I mean, crepes. So, its on the list.

Josephine Estelle A little outside the quarter, but apparently an amazing place to eat over in the warehouse.

My friend in Maryland, Lori suggested these places. She warned me they are outside of the quarter a bit.     Kenner Seafood       Pascal’s Manale         Bevi Seafood